


A bad Primus fic

by Theslimiestcola



Category: Primus - Fandom, Primus band
Genre: Bandfic logic, Epic Bromance, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 00:51:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16800424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theslimiestcola/pseuds/Theslimiestcola
Summary: Les and Ler decide they can be more than band mates for the night.





	A bad Primus fic

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed the lack of Primus fics so I decided to do something about it and make my own. This is both the best and worst thing I've ever made, please don't take this seriously.

Everyone stayed seated, waiting for all 3 of the members of Primus to hop up on stage for the Q&A or whatever. But both Les and Larry were nowhere to be found. So yeah, Tim is basically just sitting on stage, awkwardly waiting for those two hoes to come out and sit down with him. Only problem was that no one knew where they were. Where were they? They're somewhere where you'd expect them to be. Since this is a fanfic about members of a band, the best place you'd find them is locked in a dressing room half-naked and making out or something along those lines. But where were they, really? They could just be lost together somewhere for all I know. But let's be honest. Finding them locked in a dressing room doing god knows what sounds interesting, so let's go with that!

Les continuously tried to pull open the door that leads out near the stage area, but the door wouldn't open. He placed his foot on the wall, twisting and pulling the doorknob as hard as he could, but the door still remained shut.  
"Dammit, we're supposed to be out there already!" Les said, angrily. "But this damn door won't open!"

Now I know what you may be thinking; How _exactly_ did they get locked in a dressing room? Well, they aren't actually locked in the dressing room. Les is just dumb and needs to _push_ the door for it to open instead of trying to _pull_ it open. They had been in their dressing room for almost half an hour after the concert and obviously had no trouble getting in. Les was probably spacing out or looking at something else while the door was being opened. Larry was 110% aware of Les' stupidity, but doesn't bother to tell him because it's extremely amusing to watch him get so frustrated over it. Plus he had a nice view of that Colonel Claypool Booty™.

Les eventually gave up trying and kicked the door out of frustration. He turned around, stomping over to the couch and plopped down next to Larry, who was desperately trying not to laugh. Les looked over and noticed the shit-eating grin on his face.  
"Oh, so you're amused by this, aren't you?" Les asked, annoyed.

Larry looked at him and nodded, letting out a small chuckle. Les turned and grabbed him by the shoulders. His smile disappeared as he was startled by a strong pair of hands grasping his shoulders.  
"This isn't funny, Ler! We're stuck in here, and no one knows where we are!"

Les had a very firm grip on Larry's shoulders. The two of them went silent and just looked at each other. Eventually, Les' anger changed into another feeling. What was that feeling, exactly? It was lust. Without the sting.

Many thoughts were going through their heads. _Sexy_ thoughts. They were alone. No one knows where they are, though eventually at least _someone_ will find them. But for now, they're alone, and they can do whatever they want with each other until then. But these thoughts, man. _These thots._ Les and Larry decided that they are now deeply in love with each other or something. Their love for one another has been obvious ever since Primus was a thing, but apparently they just _now_ realized this.

Les loosened his grip on Larry's shoulders and started slowly sliding his hands down to his chest, then his stomach, and then around his waist.  
"I think you're really cute, Ler," Les removed his hat and threw it across the room.

"Stop flirting and just kiss me," Larry stood up to reposition himself, straddling Les' lap. The bassist pulled Larry closer to him and they began kissing.

Meanwhile, our good friend Tim Alexander is sitting at the Q&A panel improvising. He placed a glass of wine wearing a small hat where Les would be sitting and a small stuffed pig plushy where Larry would be sitting. Surprisingly no one seemed to notice the difference during the entire Q&A panel.

Anyway, continuing on with the porn. Les and Larry were both aroused after a few minutes of intense kissing. So then they began undressing, still attached to each other's lips. Larry slid his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. Les smiled, leaning towards Larry and started to kiss his neck. They were getting more and more desperate for each other so they decided it was time to do the dirty.  
Les brought his mouth to Larry's ear. _"Say baby, do ya wanna lay down with me?"_

Larry giggled like the school girl he is. "Yes."

Les awkwardly shuffled in place and allowed Larry to lay down on his back as Les sat above him. Keep in mind that Larry used to be a woman. According to Les, at least. Let's just all acknowledge that Larry is definitely a bottom. Anyway, their lips met once again as the stripping of clothes was taken to the next level. Yes, that's right, they're both completely _naked_ now! Was the door locked? Probably not. But who cares, it's yaoi time.

Larry grabbed Les and pulled him closer. "Fuck me, already, Colonel."

Larry arched his hips upwards and spread his legs. Colonel leaned forward, kissing his neck and slowly slid his finger up Ler's ass. He grasped the couch cushion and his body jerked upward as the finger began to slide in and out of him. Les was just about to slide that dick in before he heard something. He looked over and saw our good friend, Tim Alexander, standing with the door wide open staring at whatever the _fuck_ was happening in there.  
"I was about to ask where the fuck you guys were but it looks like the fuck was happening in here," Tim said, surprised.

"How the hell did you open that door, it's stuck." Les stood up, confused. Tim raised his hand, blocking his view from the Colonel's colonel.

"The hell are you talking about? It wasn't stuck."

Les turned to look at Ler with an angry and confused look on his face. "You fuckin' knew that the door opened outwards instead of inwards, didn't you?" Les asked. "That's why you were laughing!"

Larry smiled smugly and shrugged in reply.  
"Ler, you're a bastard," Les was still too aroused to be angry at Larry right now. "A beautiful bastard."

He went back down on Ler, kissing him intensely. And then the fucking began. Tim, like the good friend he is, walked out and closed the door behind him to give them some privacy. He walked back toward the VIP room and chatted with some fans, pretending like he didn't just walk in on his friends fucking. Not like he's never seen this coming, anyway. Tim lowkey ships them irl. This is totally cannon, trust me.

Les and Larry soon finished up their bromance and met with their good friend, Tim Alexander. And this night was never brought up ever again. So the moral of this story? Fanfic? Whatever you wanna call this? Tim is a good friend. You're welcome. The end.


End file.
